Returning to this season of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Gretchen Rossi expresses her wish that her relationship with housewife Tamra Judge will be different.
After three new season episodes, Rossi realizes she was mistaken.
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Rossi, who starred as a full-fledged housewife from Seasons 4 to 8 before returning as a friend of the housewives for Season 19, says, “I really wasn’t coming back to start this feud with Tamra again when I decided to do the show.”
She adds, “I was hoping that perhaps we could actually have an adult conversation.” Since I’ve been observing her for the past eleven years, I was naive to believe that she couldn’t be held accountable for something that happened.
According to Rossi, she believed that perhaps since their last collaboration, things had changed.
I thought perhaps she was somewhere else, she says. My point is that, even though I didn’t come in intending to rekindle the feud or have a problem with her, I wasn’t scared to confront her about her long history of bad behavior.
Rossi discussed the feud’s beginnings, how she ended up discussing Slade Smiley’s injury to a very intimate part of his anatomy on camera, and if their 5-year-old daughter ever received the chicken she had been requesting in an episode in an interview that was edited for length and clarity.
Q: You chose to return to this world of high drama after being as out of the spotlight as a former housewife can be. Why would you return to the ring?
A: You know, the way it all started was fascinating. There have been occasional conversations during the years I’ve been away, during which a production person will phone and ask whether you would ever like to return. I remember thinking, “Absolutely not,” and “no, no, no.”
I said, “Nice of you to call, but no thank you,” when they called this season. “Well, let’s not just say no right away,” they said. Let’s discuss these feelings. [She chuckles] At last, when Slade and I sat down to consider it, I realized that I had many friendships with both the more recent cast members and the former cast members.
I thought, “If there was ever a time for me to return, this would probably be the season,” as I glanced at Slade.
What emotions did it evoke in you?
A: Did I feel nervous? Was I anxious? I thought, “What am I doing?” 100% of those feelings.
Q: Heather Dubrow is one of your previous cast members, and it appears that you and Heather are getting along well so far. And Tamra comes next. Tell me about the beginning of that.
A: I was really young and naive when I originally joined up for the show. This is going to be enjoyable, I thought. My girlfriends and I get to go shopping and have champagne. I was thinking, “Whoa, what’s going on here?” as I walked straight into the lion’s den.
At the time, I thought it would be arrogant to say something like, “Oh, she’s just jealous.” Despite the constant comments from the audience, “She’s jealous of you.” Although I never really understood it, I thought, “Okay, okay,” and wondered, “Why does this woman hate me so much?” As the years pass, you start to hear things.
Her former pals from her camp said, “Oh, she was so mad because you came in and you stole her thunder.” She was always seen as the young one and the hot one. I’m not sure if any of that is accurate. However, it eventually became into this epic rivalry between us and somewhat altered the course of Housewives as a whole.
Q: On the July 24th program, you revealed something extremely personal about Slade that I believe got a lot of people talking. “What made you go there?” she asks, laughing.
A: Oh my god, you mean? This is the reason reality TV is so popular. There are moments when you forget there are cameras. Yes, that was certainly not my best moment, but it also reflected some of the requirements for being on reality TV. All you need to do is be authentic and express what’s actually going on. Thus, I haven’t yet watched the episode. I know it’s dumb of me to say that, but how did that come up? Was there any evidence to support my statement, or did it just occur to me at that moment?
Q: The show simply shifted to several groups of individuals at the party before cutting to you stating it.
A: It’s strange that you say that because I get testosterone pellets from the same hormone doctor as another housewife named Emily Simpson. I must thus assume that we began the chat by discussing testosterone and how it increases libido.
Q: That’s in there, I see.
A: I think that makes a little more sense. But yes, I believe it was a foolish chat with your girlfriend about how the testosterone was so high that we ended up hurting his penis during a crazy night of sex. [She chuckles]
Q: Slade’s response is amusing. He starts by saying, “Hey, hey, hey!” When he responds, “Yep, that happened,” after you’ve said it.
A: You know, he simply expects it from me. Whether it’s good, bad, ugly, or indifferent, Slade and I are quite forthright and public about everything in our lives. Our hearts are on our sleeves. We don t take ourselves too seriously. We had been best friends for sixteen years.
And listen, I would never discuss anything extremely personal with him if I knew it was upsetting him. However, we’ve discussed this topic with many of our friends. To be honest, I believe that many people are hesitant to discuss sexual health, so sometimes having a chat about it with friends is refreshing.
This season, Emily and I went to the hormone doctor. I was talking about women in our 40s and what happens to our body hormonally. Not enough women are talking about this. I ve had 12 of my friends come to me that I sent to my doctor, and they said, You ve literally saved my marriage because we re back like we re in our 20s having sex again.
Q: I guess what happened to Slade is entertaining, but also informational or education as well.
A:There you go. Turning a bad situation into a good one.
Q: I want to ask you about Slade and your 16 years together. You guys got engaged on camera during your original run on the show, but all these years later, you ve still not gotten married.
A:So there really isn t any like, Oh, we re not getting married. I don t think that s ever been our intent. It s been more about circumstantial situations. When we first put a date on a calendar, we didn t realize the date we had picked was a holiday weekend, and a lot of our families were not available, had already booked a trip or whatever. And then Slade ended up getting booked for a miniseries with the History Channel down in Mexico for multiple months that interfered with the date as well.
And I started looking at my biological clock, going, you know, I m 26, 27, and I really want to have a child. By the time we figure out this wedding crap, I m probably not even going to be able to have a child anymore. So we decided to put our efforts and our money into IVF and try to have a child, because he had had a vasectomy 15 years earlier, and we knew we probably had to do IVF.
Then, after I had Skylar, I was in massive postpartum depression for almost three years. I felt overweight and I didn t feel good. My mind, you have a newborn, you re not sleeping, you re angry, all the stuff. So it wasn t about, I don t want to get married, it was just circumstantial stuff.
Q: It s good to hear you got through that. Is a wedding back on the table now?
A:It really wasn t until this year when it s all brought back up again. Everyone s asking us so maybe this is the time to do it. Skylar is of an age where she can truly understand it. [Skylar turned 6 in July.] She can be our flower girl.
I will say, what s interesting to me is I feel like there s something to be said about two people choosing every day to wake up and stay together rather than people that want to put so much emphasis on, Oh, you have to have a marriage license. To me, it proves something more that you don t have a marriage license and you re choosing to stay together because you want to be together.
I actually think it s a beautiful thing that Slade and I have been able to show that we re in love and we re together because we want to be, not because we have to be.
Q: After this conversation, I m starting to think you should have your own health and relationship show.
A:What s funny, we did. Slade and I had our own podcast. It was called Knot Too Taboo, and we talked a lot about sexual health on there. So thank you for saying that.
Q: We got a glimpse of Skylar on a recent episode. Did she ever get her chicken?
A:That is hilarious. I was like, Her chicken? So we don t have a very big backyard, and if I got a chicken coop, it would take over basically the whole yard. I think the whole idea in my head of I m gonna get a chicken coop was probably not our best plan yet. So no, we do not have a chicken, but she does have three chickens at her school where she literally is the chicken whisperer. And we get our fresh eggs from those chickens every day. It s literally the cutest thing.
Q: Without giving anything away, how does the rest of the season go?
A:Ooh, that s a very loaded question. What s so interesting, a lot of these housewives shows there s kind of like a linear storyline that happens throughout the entire season, right? And you sometimes hear the audience going, Oh my God, we re talking about the same thing. This season there are so many twists and turns and new things that happen.
Every time you turn around, there s some new storyline that could be a whole season. Unfortunately, I am kind of in the center of it, and so it s going to be interesting to see how it all turns out. It ended in a way that was unexpected and surprising. I had an incredible season. I got along really well with all the cast obviously, besides Tamra.
But at the end, it definitely made me question a lot of things. So we ll see how it all pans out.
