It might be referred to as the McDonaldland Meal. However, that doesn’t alter the reality. When adults purchase a McDonald’s Happy Meal with a new shake featuring Lisa Frank’s trapper keeper color scheme, it becomes less strange.
I’m not passing judgment. To be honest, grownups are worthy of this. Children have never had to learn the distinction between a premium and a healthcare deductible. They don’t need to be concerned about hurting their back because they slept strangely or sneezed.
The very least the world can offer us is a small memento to divert our attention from the plethora of advertisements for prescription medications and sports betting that I will encounter every day.
In this instance, it is a small metal case with numerous stickers, one of which is the pilot’s license of a McDonald’s figure from the C-list that I hardly remember.
The Mount McDonaldland Shake, a hazily defined fugue state of sugar and a legally questionable amount of dairy, is the only novel food item.
The official McDonald’s description of this shake avoids answering too many questions and sounds like a mobster from Candyland attempting to elude the feds.
What is the shake’s flavor? It contains faint berry flavor undertones, which is not a useful response. That would be equivalent to asking a waiter what the special is for the evening and being told that it’s cheese-covered.
The pink thing on top? Avoid making snap judgments and labeling it whipped cream. It’s a real cream-based pink dairy whipped topping. McDonald’s boasting that it is created with genuine cream, but not enough to legally call it whipped cream, is a wild flex.
The lore of the shake itself is slightly menacing. The official description states that one of the thick shake volcanoes on Grimace Island was the source of the Mt. McDonaldland Shake.
In addition to the shake, you receive fries and the option of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, which McDonald’s continues to promote as the QPC, or Chicken McNuggets. However, as with Gretchen Weiners and fetch, it will not occur.
Additionally, you receive one of six memento kits, which are tiny metal tins filled with trinkets that depict different figures from McDonald’s legend. I received Birdie the Early Bird, who I dimly recall spending time with the Hamburglar and Grimace.
I found a number of stickers inside, some of which were made to resemble duplicates of Birdie’s pilot’s license and passport. I’m not sure if these materials make me feel at ease. As they attempt to get through McDonaldland border check, I feel as though I was just given Birdie’s documents.
Mt. McDonaldland Shake: I couldn’t wait to sample the pink or purple whipped topping. I don’t know. It is comparable to a tennis ball. Is it green? Is it yellow? I must quit. My brain hurts from this.
Speaking of vivid hues confusing my noodle, the shake itself is quite intriguing.
I thought it tasted like cotton candy when I walked in. The taste is a little more fruity in reality, though.
It starts out with a powerful burst of sweetness. A gentle mist of more subdued tastes then rolls through on the rear end.
It’s a lot like blue raspberry or pink lemonade with all the colors and hazy, fake flavors. Generally speaking, it’s sweet with a hint of tartness that the restaurant business has informed us is berry.
Fries: I feel obligated to write on every element of the dish. In light of that, these do indeed taste like McDonald’s fries. On the fast-food fry spectrum, they are on the thin side. I should have added more salt to mine.
The Quarter Pounder with Cheese still has a better bread-to-meat ratio than the Big Mac. But instead of ketchup, I wish it had the special sauce.
Birdie Souvenir package: Two real, working postcards were included in the package. This is obviously aimed at the elderly. Giving a postcard to someone under the age of twenty is, in my opinion, equivalent to giving them a VHS player. They wouldn’t know how to use it, thus it would be rubbish.
I liked it. However, I have a weakness for sugar.
If you’re designed to enjoy artificial, excessively sweet flavors, that’s good. You’re in the wrong spot if you’re searching for any kind of subtlety.
The opaque berry flavor is there in a moderate amount, though the consumer may react differently to it.
It is comparable to listening to a reasonably loud performance by a heavy metal band. If you’re into that kind of thing, it’s okay. However, it will be a discordant wall of multicolored noise if you’re fresh to the scene.
The internet presence was one aspect of McDonaldland that caught my attention. I received a card with a QR code that directed me to the McDonald’s website as part of the souvenir kit.
It’s something of an outdated website strategy that was popular in the 1990s and early 2000s. There are many small items to click on and browse through on this colorful website.
I had the impression that I was using Compuserve on my family’s old desktop computer, listening to that crappy dial-up shrieking sound that has been ingrained in my head.
This is another reason why Happy Meals are necessary for adults. The worry of being banned from the internet because someone in the house picked up the phone to make a call is unknown to children today.
Anyone under the age of eighteen would find those final two paragraphs absolutely insane, I can only imagine.
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Are you interested in more I Ate It food coverage? Nick can be followed on TikTok (@NickAteIt) and Instagram (@NickAteIt).
A regular food column describing unusual foods, both good and unpleasant, is called “I ate it so you don’t have to.” We’re kind of trapped with the name that I chose years ago.
Any compliments or culinary recommendations should be sent to [email protected]. Any concerns or criticism regarding Nick’s poetic waxing about the internet in the 1990s can be directed to [email protected]. The rest of the series is available here.
